Quite a while back, I made a video. I made it for myself, actually, but I ended up sending it to S very quickly (to my big surprise; shock almost). I know he has enjoyed it a lot, and I love the thought of him watching it. I've never cammed with anyone, so this is definitely the first and only time I've made, and shared, moving images of myself in an intimate situation.
And now I'd like to share it with somebody else as well - a good, close, online friend, let's call him G, who was sort of an affair outside of the affair with S, for a short while, quite some time ago. G is actually the only person I've ever had phone sex with except for S. It was so intense and fun getting to know him, but I quickly realized that two affairs was more than I could handle. As lovely as G is, S has always been my one and only lover. The fact that G could handle being told as much, and remain my friend, just proves what a wonderful person he is.
G and I don't cyber, or play together online (after that brief affair, that is), but we do talk a lot about sex and desires. The video I made happens to depict something that G is very much into, and he's known about its existance for a long time. I know he's been envious, and hopeful that I'd some day show it to him.
So last night I asked S how he'd feel about me sharing it. He first said that of course I should... but as we kept talking, I think we both knew that none of us wanted to let go of it that easily. I think I really wanted him to claim ownership over it, and I think he too really wanted to do just that. He launched the idea that I first make him a new video, and even named a couple of special requests for it. Once he has the new one, he'll let go of the old one. Something like that.
I'm so incredibly aroused by this. Filming myself is definitely a challenge for me, both emotionally and technically. Meeting the special requests S has named makes me shiver, with arousal and nervousness. It will take me some time to set it up and make it happen.
I actually started experimenting with the camera this morning. While I had it out I filmed something entirely different in the spur of the moment... definitely nothing I had planned. I quickly emailed it to S, but I know he's at work, and that he won't be able to watch it until later. Then I was interrupted by something, and then I was no longer alone... but the fact that I didnt't get to come with S last night, though I was so very, very aroused the entire time we talked, and the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about the video I'd made earlier today, and the video I'm planning to make... all of it lead to me sneaking off for a quickie with myself. It was a much and long needed release.
And now I'd like to share it with somebody else as well - a good, close, online friend, let's call him G, who was sort of an affair outside of the affair with S, for a short while, quite some time ago. G is actually the only person I've ever had phone sex with except for S. It was so intense and fun getting to know him, but I quickly realized that two affairs was more than I could handle. As lovely as G is, S has always been my one and only lover. The fact that G could handle being told as much, and remain my friend, just proves what a wonderful person he is.
G and I don't cyber, or play together online (after that brief affair, that is), but we do talk a lot about sex and desires. The video I made happens to depict something that G is very much into, and he's known about its existance for a long time. I know he's been envious, and hopeful that I'd some day show it to him.
So last night I asked S how he'd feel about me sharing it. He first said that of course I should... but as we kept talking, I think we both knew that none of us wanted to let go of it that easily. I think I really wanted him to claim ownership over it, and I think he too really wanted to do just that. He launched the idea that I first make him a new video, and even named a couple of special requests for it. Once he has the new one, he'll let go of the old one. Something like that.
I'm so incredibly aroused by this. Filming myself is definitely a challenge for me, both emotionally and technically. Meeting the special requests S has named makes me shiver, with arousal and nervousness. It will take me some time to set it up and make it happen.
I actually started experimenting with the camera this morning. While I had it out I filmed something entirely different in the spur of the moment... definitely nothing I had planned. I quickly emailed it to S, but I know he's at work, and that he won't be able to watch it until later. Then I was interrupted by something, and then I was no longer alone... but the fact that I didnt't get to come with S last night, though I was so very, very aroused the entire time we talked, and the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about the video I'd made earlier today, and the video I'm planning to make... all of it lead to me sneaking off for a quickie with myself. It was a much and long needed release.
It sounds like you are taking your time to enjoy all that sex has to offer and in control of your sexuality now. It is quite sexy how open you are to explore new things.
ReplyDeleteAnon - I wouldn't exactly say "in control" (and perhaps I don't even want to be...), but definitely exploring. And enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteHi Johanna. Right, I think I see what you mean. What I mean is that you are in control of your decisions, and even the choices to not be in control is still something you are in charge of. This to me is sexy, you are open with yourself, and you are open to new opportunities. Not all women I feel are like this. The key to all of this seems to be you wanting to enjoy yourself by having as much pleasure as possible.
ReplyDelete