Today I was out shopping. Weekends can be a little frustrating, as I don't get much alone time. So when I opened the messenger in my phone, I was very happy to get a message from S.
We started talking about the weather, which was sunny and spring-like both in his and my end... and ended up outlining a very taboo scenario. God, I love those.
I was in my car, parked outside a shopping centre, with lots of people around. When I realized I needed to touch myself I drove to an off-side parking space nearby and pulled my tights down.
Yes, I'm ashamed of it. And yes, I realize it's an addiction, and as such, perhaps not very healthy. But god, it was good. The car was filled with the scent of my arousal, and as I got closer and closer, I looked less and less often in the rear view mirror. I'm not sure I will tell S about the thoughts that ran through my mind the minutes before I came.
After, it felt deliciously depraved stepping out of the car, discreetly pulling my tights up and my dress down, and going into the store.
Wow, you're one brave woman! I tried that once. I was parked outside a set of shops, it was dark, but early evening, no one around. But I just couldn't concentrate enough to get off... It was extremely arousing though.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually the second time for me to do that. The first time was last summer, when I had no alone time at home for weeks, no months actually. I know what you mean about distracted... both times I had to bring out those extremely dark, forbidden thoughts that just make me forget about everything else to push myself over the edge. Plus, I think a little bit of risk really does it for me ;)
ReplyDeleteashamed? an addiction? I SERIOUSLY DON'T THINK THIS IS ANYTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. THERE ARE MANY MANY WORSE ADDICTIONS SO CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK AND ENJOY!
ReplyDeleteThat girl - Thankyou. I really need to hear that sometimes. (I don't know where all this guilt comes from... I've gotten rid of so much these past couple of years though, but I'll obviously have to keep working on it.)
ReplyDeletewell, it's pretty obvious to me that most of our guilts come from religion, society, parents. that type of thing. this, however, was all in an attempt to keep control of things and to avoid chaos. i think that if you are doing something that isn't hurting anyone (including yourself) there is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. as for being addicted, well, i dunno. if you're not able to leave the house, you're not going to work, keeping care of your family, etc etc because you are busy masturbating, that's one thing. but you aren't. cut yourself some slack.
ReplyDeletei will admit though, that i have been slightly late for things on the odd occasion because i'm masturbating. is that wrong...well, someone else will decide that for me. right?