Friday, April 1, 2011

#91, March 31, night

I won't even try to figure out why a good evening with my husband put me in a mood very well suited to talk with my lover, but it did.

I so hoped he'd be there, and he was. When he told me he was catching up on reading my blog I got a little nervous and sort of regretted my need to blurt out all sorts of naked feelings... but he's good about these things, he's not an overthinker like I am but just undramatically passed my brooding off as "simply normal" and moved on.

I told him about the fantasy I came to earlier in the day... I felt lonely thinking about it then, so telling him now felt like putting things right. The fantasy evolved, intensified, deepened. When he disappeared without warning I was so close to coming that I didn't even care, I just kept going.

I would have wanted him to be there, but... I'm back to normal. We're back to normal. I'll feel very good falling asleep now.

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