I've been bad. So bad.
I went into the chat again... and lo and behold, I ran into an old online lover. He was one of the first men I talked with online, and the one who meant the most to me, back in those early days before I met S that is. Our affair was short and incredibly intense, and it ended disastrously. I know I'm not impartial here but really, he hurt me and treated me horribly.
He had the same screen name still, I had not. He was the one to start talking, unaware of my identity... and I didn't tell him. I was amazed at how obvious it was to me that I, erotically speaking, am a different person now. It sort of made me feel completely comfortable with not telling him. Oh I know it was a terrible thing to do... but our conversation was so different from the way we talked back then, it was shocking.
He aroused me, not in the same way as before, but he did. It was clear that he was very turned on as well.
Then someone else struck up a conversation... oh I'm so bad. It was a lovely girl, seductive, imaginative... I just couldn't help myself, and started to talk with her as well, simultaneously, but I told neither her nor him. So bad.
Both of them combined was almost too much, and after quite a long while I couldn't take it any longer and told them a very sudden goodbye, and left quickly. I finished on my own, in the dark.
So bad. But so good.
Awesome!! hahaha I love it... I think it's basically the whole point.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you did anything wrong. Chatting under an alias is very liberating.
ReplyDeleteCande, Gaz, TG - you're obviously as shockingly bad as I am ;) (very glad to have such non-judgemental readers)
ReplyDeleteIsn't this why Microsoft invented multiple windows in the first place? I just don't understand why you had to run off and finish without them. If they help you get them, stick with them to the finish!!
ReplyDeleteAdvizor - it was complicated. I sort of wanted to run off from the old lover, for a variety of reasons. I'm definitely not looking to reconnect with him. I would, however, have liked to stay with the girl... but if I had, the old lover would have known, since all that are in the chat room are listed as online.. oh well. I was a bit overwhelmed, it was more excitement than I could take. And I felt really bad about what I was doing, so I suppose I just wanted to stop doing it. Oh I don't know. I can see how it doesn't seem to make any sense. It hardly even does to me.
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