I talked a little with her yesterday evening (what do I call her? Our new friend? My lover's new lover? Not sure.) I like her, I like getting to know her. But something I've noticed when talking with women, is that there are so many things that need to be said before you can start actually... well, playing. Background, family, marriages, divorces... all very interesting, but sometimes I'd like to skip that part and just get to the point. I'll have to work on getting better at that. Also, I do think she's more interested in the lover, so I don't want to push her.
The lover and I talked a few times yesterday. I think we were both trying to find our way back, get back on track. It felt good. Had a long conversation at night, which he left at a crucial point. I continued on my own, but parts of the family woke up, so I couldn't finish. Frustrating.
All that's been happening has got my mind wandering, to possibilities... I've still never been with a woman, but it's a wonderful thing to dream about. Yesterday I had an hour to spare, so I went into a chat room and started talking with someone. Same story - we talked about relationships and fears and never got to the juicy parts... but she flirted, I flirted, I was aroused, and I think she was too. I don't think we'll talk again. But I enjoyed it a lot, and I think I'm getting a little bolder.
Right now I don't feel like risking being subjected to more turbulence, so I'm trying to take a brief yahoo break. Maybe I'm trying to get a little less addicted to the lover as well, in case he's about to move on - I get that feeling sometimes. It's difficult not checking into the messenger, but I'm working on it :-).
Instead I had some lovely alone play, that left me trembling and shaking... I don't really feel comfortable writing about it here. (I wonder why not? I've actually been thinking about being a little braver, sharing my fantasies and daydreams... but I'll have to think about it some more.)
So: I'm all relaxed now, and feeling pretty good about things.
I've never approached women before, I have no idea how to go about doing it. but I have been approached and I can tell you what others have said to me to start something.
ReplyDeleteIt's usually something like, "are you bi?" "Wanna play?" pretty straightforward! haha
I've always been too shy to start anything with women. I fantasize about women a lot, but I'm REALLY REALLY specific about physical appearance with a woman. I can't just fantasize about any woman. So I think it would be difficult for me to get used to the idea of playing with a woman in real life. It would take a while of seeing the woman to actually get my head around it. And I think a lot of the attraction is the woman's personality. She has to be outgoing and sexy at the same time.
I suppose I'm a little ambivalent... I do want to play, but like you, I'm not just looking for anyone. I might not be very picky about looks, but extremely picky about personality, so I will definitely need some smalltalk before moving on. And if someone asks me "are you bi", I'll want to be honest and answer... ok, yes, I'll admit that it takes more than a couple of sentences to explain things! Before we know it, we're involved in a conversation about it. I can see how I'm probably part of the problem here :-).
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