Wednesday, June 15, 2011

#155, June 14, night

S and I haven't talked much lately, but we've seen nothing of the loss of intimacy that (I think) we usually suffer when that happens, and I haven't worried much, or been scared of losing him. Which is odd. But really, really good.

The fact that I don't mind the drop in frequency suggests it's a step back. The fact that I feel so very close to him whenever we do talk suggests that it's a step ahead. I don't know, and frankly I don't care.

We chatted for a while tonight, about this and that. Work. Film. Sex. More sex. Fantasies. More fantasies. Intense fantasies. Taboo fantasies.

I suddenly knew I would come within minutes... I didn't want to, but it had been a few days and I was simply hit by this super intense arousal that seemed to suck in my fingers, the vibe, his voice, the pictures in my head... everything was leading up to the moment of release, at a relentless speed over which I had no control. I've missed coming with him so I tried to hold back, but couldn't. I had to tell him, and he told me he wanted me to come... now.

So I did.

Oh I've missed it so. My eyelids, my thighs, my upper stomach, my shoulders, my feet... they are all so relaxed, it's incredible.

We talked some more after. There seems to be some phone sex coming up in the near future. He also made a request that made me smile, and blush.

I could keep talking all night, but it's of no interest to anyone, and I have to sleep.

2 comments:

  1. I also have a husband who is not my Master. I have had this other life for a long time now. No one knows, it's my secret. It is hard sometimes not having what you want all the time being that the craving is so strong. I so understand the missing part. Love to know how you manage to get around it at home?

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  2. dleec - none of my relationships, neither the one with my husband nor the one with S, is a d/s one, so there's no master involved. But keeping the two lives apart certainly isn't easy at times... I want to bring the energy I get from time spent with S into my "real" life, but I don't want thoughts of my online life to steal focus and/or time from my life with my family. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not... I'll probably have to write a post on it, it's one of the core issues of having an online affair I think, or indeed any affair, I imagine.

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