Some days I just ache for him. This morning I was sitting on the sofa, working, having coffee... and at the same time waiting anxiously for S to come online, aroused, wanting him.
Addicted, who me...?!
When he sent me a good morning message I instantly felt myself swell, tingle, lubricate. He almost always has that effect on me.
With yesterday's explorations in fresh memory we started talking about the joys and risks of exploring limits. Does the boundary-pushing we engage in in fantasy risk spilling over into our real lives, changing our moral limits?
The philosophical context made me decide to confess something a little awkward to him. I was half way into it when he started having connection problems, and then he had to go do something... it left me feeling unhappy and empty, and after an hour or so I had to make myself come just to get rid of the gnawing feeling that I shouldn't have bothered with that confession in the first place.
Not the ideal reason for an orgasm perhaps, but not only did it work, it was also tremendously pleasurable, and special... I wish I could have shared the moment with S, but I'll probably email him a detailed description, since I know he'll like it. A lot.
I've appreciated the insightful comments you've left on my blog, and although I have nothing insightful to say right now, I did want you to know how much I enjoy reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for taking the time to tell me Holly! I've thought of you and your courageous decision... hope you're ok.
ReplyDeleteMmmm..this post is wonderful. The yearning, the ache..addiction is great yet complicated. I too, know how it feels to be addicted. Feeling that arousal from the simplest things...ahhhh addiction.
ReplyDeleteMediocrity - yes, I know you know... it's wonderful, and scary...
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