A concerned reader emailed me and alerted me to the fact that my posts as of late have started to show signs of ennui.
And he's right. I don't really know why I blog any more.
I suppose I should explain myself. The thing is that the topics for this blog - my sex life and my online relationship - have been some of the key elements in a far greater process. I wasn't aware of that when I started writing, but the fact is that during the life span of this blog, which is less than a year, I have gone from a point where I had serious doubts about my marriage and the general direction my life was going in, to a point where I have created a more independent position for myself within that same marriage, and where I feel I'm in charge of my own life. My husband hasn't always been thrilled, but he has accepted the changes with greater ease than I could have ever imagined.
And though I will continue to explore new erotic frontiers, and though the online affair is still very much ongoing, I don't feel the need to analyze their existence anymore. I think I'm pretty confident by now that they are treasured and necessary parts of my "new" life, and I will simply enjoy them now.
I should thank you for your input, of course... but I'll have to be honest: what has meant the most for me has been knowing that my thoughts are read by someone. That fact has forced me to clarify my thinking before hitting "publish", and all that extra thinking has really made a huge difference. So to all of you: a sincere thank you.
Good luck Johanna. You will be missed in blogland xxx
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOOOOOO don't go.... why?? blogs don't have to be "interesting" for *everyone* reading. It's a diary. STAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePlus a "concerned reader" is now feeling somewhat guilty for it. I doubt he meant that you should stop writing.
If the blog has served its purpose, good. But blogs should be "alive". They can be "repurposed" and refocused. Perhaps you need a bit of a break, and then will come back for both us and you.
ReplyDeleteMike
Clive - thankyou, I have so enjoyed being a part of that blogland... and I will continue to read! Knowing your fine blog, I doubt I'll be able to resist commenting, too :-)
ReplyDeleteCande - you are so so sweet, your words almost made my eyes tear. I'll continue to be an avid reader though... I've emailed you as well.
Mike - This part of my life can no longer be singled out, so yes, the blog has served its purpose. As for repurposing and refocusing... I don't know. I found it hard not to let myself be influenced by the natural expectations on a blog with a name, and initial content, like this one.
I'm sad to hear that this is the end of this blog. I've enjoyed reading it and following your journey. But if you feel that it's served its purpose, then you're doing the right thing. You will definitely be missed. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'll miss you Johanna. Your blog is unique and I appreciate that you have shared your journey thus far. I am also so happy for you that you have found a way to feel more fulfilled without having to dismantle your life.
ReplyDeleteMax - I'll be around, reading, if nothing else... I've enjoyed having you as my reader!
ReplyDeleteHolly - Thank you... I've thought a lot of your brave and difficult decisions. I wish you all the best.