HNT, September 29, 2011: Forest

I know. I said goodbye and all... but I went for a walk in a nearby forest the other morning, and there was just something about the dripping moisture and the light mist and the low sun and the slippery, muddy ground and the smell of rotten fruit and decaying leaves and fungus that was so intensely erotic.

If I had had no boundaries whatsoever I would have stripped naked and lain down on the wet leaves and the mud, and made myself come right then and there. But I didn't... of course I didn't.

I did take a couple of pictures however, and I have nowhere to show them but on here. I loved feeling the cool, crisp air on my breasts... and truth be told, I loved feeling slightly nervous that someone would spot me as well, though I hid a little in a clearing away from the walking path, and I only saw two persons during my half hour in the forest anyway, so there wasn't exactly a crowd to watch out for.

Go see more hnt:ers at Osbasso's.

Goodbye

A concerned reader emailed me and alerted me to the fact that my posts as of late have started to show signs of ennui.

And he's right. I don't really know why I blog any more.

I suppose I should explain myself. The thing is that the topics for this blog - my sex life and my online relationship - have been some of the key elements in a far greater process. I wasn't aware of that when I started writing, but the fact is that during the life span of this blog, which is less than a year, I have gone from a point where I had serious doubts about my marriage and the general direction my life was going in, to a point where I have created a more independent position for myself within that same marriage, and where I feel I'm in charge of my own life. My husband hasn't always been thrilled, but he has accepted the changes with greater ease than I could have ever imagined.

And though I will continue to explore new erotic frontiers, and though the online affair is still very much ongoing, I don't feel the need to analyze their existence anymore. I think I'm pretty confident by now that they are treasured and necessary parts of my "new" life, and I will simply enjoy them now.

I should thank you for your input, of course... but I'll have to be honest: what has meant the most for me has been knowing that my thoughts are read by someone. That fact has forced me to clarify my thinking before hitting "publish", and all that extra thinking has really made a huge difference. So to all of you: a sincere thank you.

Mmm

Finally. It's been so long... a long, late conversation in the dark... must have been over two hours. We weren't cut off, for which I'm very grateful ;-)

Sleepy now.

And completely relaxed.

An impossible fantasy

I often fantasize about being in a relationship without kids, with an attractive man.

In my dreams I imagine a lazy Saturday, a long breakfast, a latte, reading the newspaper - much like today.

Then getting a little bored, and very horny - much like today.

And then seducing... being teased... having the last drops of latte dripped on my nipples, sucked off... my ass grabbed... a hard cock brushing against my leg... a whispering voice, very close to my ear, telling me not to move... feeling my body respond, my skin damp and electric...

Very much not like today.

I can't work on making my fantasy come true, since I'd never wish to be without my family - my lovey but un-attractive husband, my kids that I love more than anything.

I sometimes dream of it happening in a distant future, when the kids have grown up. But by then I'll be an old lady. Somehow I can't fit that into the fantasy.

I suppose I'll have to start writing porn. Or find a real life lover.

In fact, if I had some alone time and if S were online, that'd be absolutely wonderful too.

Instead, I will now bake cookies with my oldest daughter. Not bad at all - but not quite what my body tells me I need right now.

HNT, September 15 2011: Curves

I was talking with S last night. We were cut off, and I lay in the dark, watching my naked body, only lit by the cool light of the laptop screen. I felt as if I was watching with his eyes.

Visit Osbasso and see who else is half nekkid this week.

Regrets

Ok, so I have an issue with phone sex. I love it but I get too lost in it, it's so intense I lose focus, or rather, I am so completely focused on my own pleasure I forget everything else. Afterward I'm struck with doubts and feelings of inadequacy and selfishness.

I explained all of the above when S turned out to be at home today, offering to call. He said he understood, but I felt horrible and regretted having said anything at all. We said goodbye... but my head was spinning, and I couldn't stop thinking about his voice.

I can't believe I turned down one of the rare occasions on which we could phone each other. I got hornier and hornier, and after a while I messaged him, telling him of my regrets... poor man, he probably wishes quite often that he was involved with someone just a tad less emotional!

I was so aroused, on the brink of coming... but I had a faint hope he'd come back online, so I waited. I have to say those were some very, very pleasurable ten minutes, staying on the edge just in case he'd be back... but finally I couldn't take it anymore, and came, and went offline.

Oh well, I suppose I learned a lesson :-)

Coffee break

I've been working very efficiently today. I didn't open the messenger - I knew that if I did, there was a great risk of me leaving my notes and assignments aside, and instead finding myself on the bed, panting.

S hasn't been feeling well and I've been busy, so we've hardly talked the last few days, just some quick reports and hellos. I've missed him... and in the afternoon I couldn't resist any longer. I went online, and within minutes he said hello.

And within another few minutes images were flowing, invading my brain, shoving all thoughts of work to a dark corner... We didn't say much, but we didn't need much either - there were mentions of a wet tip, a throbbing clit, hot skin and eager fingers, and something else as well... or was half of that in my imagination even? As well as in his, probably... Seconds later - literally seconds - my sex was throbbing, and my hand on its way under my dress..

I showed remarkable self discipline, and stopped there. Back to work.

But it was a beautiful coffee break. Without coffee.